


the losers club incorrect quotes

by softboystanley



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Multi, itll update every now and agian, there all based on me and my friends, this is just a whole big collection of incorrect quotes, this is only a thing cause i dont want to re get tumblr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-04 06:38:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17299643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softboystanley/pseuds/softboystanley
Summary: exactly what i said incorrect quotes of the losers club





	1. shit me and my friends have said edition

**Author's Note:**

> yikes this is terrible and unfunny

It’s my child-like whimsy, so fuck you.  
\- eddie  
\-----------------------------------------------  
You know those people that come for kids when their parents die.... like men and black but for kids, CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES! 

\- bill  
\-----------------------------------------------  
richie: i just swallowed an entire marshmallow send help. I think I’m dying 

Eddie: HOW?!? 

stan, from across the room eating popcorn: years of swallowing thIS DICK 

Eddie: *chokes*  
\-----------------------------------------------  
mike: *drinking chocolate milk* aw man im low on milk 

bill, ever the mom friend: do you want me to buy you another one 

mike: no I’m not down yet, I said I was low on milk *begins to chug milk at break neck speed* now I’m out of milk and *speaks in the softest voice known to man* yes please can i have more milk  
\-----------------------------------------------  
bev: *searching a room* 

ben: hey bev what are you looking for 

bev: mY dOnGLE 

bill: could u say, yOuR diCk fElL oFF 

mike: *hitting bill with yesterday’s newspaper* DAMIT BILLIAM WEVE TALKED ABOUT THIS  
\-----------------------------------------------

stan: *drops a remote* mother fuckin ass clown i don’t want to be alive 

mike: are u even okay anymore?  
\-----------------------------------------------

richie: *skating into mikes house at 4am with a pina colada* mike, your never gonna believe what happened 

richie: *calls bill at 4am* I THINK I FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW THEY FAKED THE MOON LANDING 

bill: *grabbing notebook* tell me everything  
\-----------------------------------------------

bev: god my life is a roller coaster 

eddie: i would agree with you but i don’t like roller coasters, my life is much more of a... what are those spinny things with the horses on them? 

bev: a carousel? 

eddie: yes my life is a gay carousel  
\-----------------------------------------------

bev: *about greta* i swear to lucifer imma bout to throw hands with this bitch  
\-----------------------------------------------

stan: god my life is a failure 

bill: NOOOO 

 

richie: *at the same exact time* yeah 

richie: *realizes* oh wait I meant nooooo  
\-----------------------------------------------

 

richie: *about literally anything* uh stop your making me upsetti spaghetti 

eddie: if you ever say that again im gonna strangle you 

stan: *raising eyebrows* kinky  
\-----------------------------------------------

bill: my height is my defining characteristic 

bev: damn bill that’s kinda sad 

richie: personality, hes tall and nothing else


	2. vine edition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry

richie, inviting bill into his house: hi welcome to chilis 

\-----------------------------------------------   
  
someone: help someone at our prom has been killed 

 

stan: alright calm down we don’t want a panic at the disco. 

 

\-----------------------------------------------   
  


bill: i just got diagnosed with cool guy syndrome yesterday 

 

bill: 

 

bill: so now I take adderall 

\-----------------------------------------------   
  


georgie, holding his boat: this bitch empty 

 

georgie: YEET 

 

\-----------------------------------------------   
  
eddie, lying in bed: it’s both of our first times are you sure you know what your doing 

 

richie: just trust me okay 

 

richie: XBOX ON 

 

\-----------------------------------------------   
  


bev, watching bill and stan at the quarry: two bros chillin in the quarry no feet apart cause they’re very gay 

 

\-----------------------------------------------   
  
mike,holding a kazoo: you play it you get a hundred million dollars but a hundred million people will die

 

pennywise, snatching it out of his hands: *off key kazoo* 

 

mike: PENNY NO- 

 

\-----------------------------------------------   
  
richie: oh and second of all your disrespecting a future us army soldier 

 

bill: *national anthem plays from his phone* 

 

\-----------------------------------------------   
  
bev: go ahead and introduce yourself 

 

mike: my name is micheal with a b and ive been afraid of insects my whole-

 

stan: where’s the b 

 

mike: tHeReS a bEe?!?!

 

\-----------------------------------------------   
  
eddie: there is only one thing worst than a rapist 

 

eddie, pulls away paper to reveal child: boom 

 

stan: a child 

 

eddie: no-

\-----------------------------------------------   
  
ben: people say i cant do what i love without college 

 

ben: i dont need no degree to be a clothing hanger 

\-----------------------------------------------   
  
eddie: my mom said if i dont get my grades up shes not gonna let me get a tetanus shot 

 

bev: that’s weird what are you gonna do 

 

eddie: fuckin study i guess 

 

\-----------------------------------------------   
  
stan: we all die you either kill yourself or get killed 

 

\-----------------------------------------------   
  
richie: hey how much money do you have 

 

bill: i dont know like 69 cents 

 

richie: ayyy you know what that means

 

bill: i dont have enough money for chicken nuggets 


	3. brooklyn nine nine edition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its so fuckin short not a lot of b99 things could fit for them

\-----------------------------------------------

bill, leaving the room: richie i have to go to the store ill be back in an hour or two 

richie: okay no biggie i can be alone with my thoughts my thoughts are great 

richie: die hard six on a cruise ship 

richie: pizza bagel restaurant

richie: my father never loved me and im gonna die alone 

richie: damn that happened fast 

richie: BILL DONT LEAVE ME

\-----------------------------------------------

 

*after 27 years the losers club reunites* 

richie: michael hanlon! 

richie: 27 years ago on this exact date you told me i could never do the worm 

richie: today i prove you wrong 

eddie: rich wai- 

richie, playing music from his phone: check it out 

richie: *proceeds to do the worm*

mike, turning off the music: like i was telling everyone 

mike: stan died his funeral is next weekend 

richie: oh no

\-----------------------------------------------

 

richie: thank you for joining me tonight to witness the dopest tree lightning in losers club history 

stan: where’s the tree 

ben: it was inside us all along brilliant rich 

richie: no ben not everything was inside us all along 

richie, pulling away a tarp revealing a inflatable tree: the tree is right here 

richie: now all i have to do is turn it on *really loud fan noise as tree starts blowing up* 

richie, shouting over the fan: hear that its the sound of christmas

bev: it’s deafening

bill: its getting really big what size did you get 

richie: its a jumbo 

eddie: it says its ten meters tall

stan: thats roughly 32.81 feet 

stan: someone unplug it now! 

mike: we can’t it swallowed its own plug 

bev: its about to swallow eddie too 

mike: EVERYBODY RUN 

*the entire losers club runs out of the room and slam the door behind them 

richie: okay the tree has been contained 

stan: wait we left a man behind

mike, from inside the room about to be swallowed by the tree: GUYSSSS 

bill: well mikes trapped in the living room forever only thing we can do now is move on with our lives 

richie: its what he would have wanted 

mike: AHHHHHHH *takes a running jump through the window and shatters it completely* 

richie: god bless us everyone? 

\-----------------------------------------------


	4. me during finals week high on being sick edition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so if you couldnt tell from the every thing about this post im stan in all cause im sad and sick and i just want some damn dayquil

\-----------------------------------------------

stan, sick af: does dayquil cover congestion and depression

mike, concerned: stan please go to bed

\-----------------------------------------------

richie, sips milk: *fist bumps the air* 

eddie: what the fuck was that 

richie: i finished my milk 

\-----------------------------------------------

bill: *writing a paper* what should i title it 

stan, still sick: depression 

bill: go to bed 

\-----------------------------------------------

richie: *tells a bad joke* 

bev: bitch 

richie: jerk 

ben, wanting to be a part of something: slut 

everyone: ben what the fuck? 

ben: i was justing thinking of words 

stan, high on cold medicine: PIANO MAN [exaggerated laughing] 

\-----------------------------------------------

stan: *walks into the room and immeadiately lies on the floor* 

bev: oh honey 

bill: *drapping his coat pver stan* shhhh let him rest

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is always appreciated 
> 
> (im real sorry for how unfunny this was)


End file.
